Thursday, September 10, 2009

Turkeys again

The wandering Wild Turkeys are playing in the road again. This is becoming, if not a daily occurrence, at least a common one. In the question of whether turkeys are the smartest or the dumbest, I’m starting to lean towards dumbest with this group.

They stop traffic, not because of their rarity, but so people don’t have turkey splattered all over the cars. And even when people stop, that doesn’t hurry them across the road. If anything, they move slower or stop entirely when a car nears.

"What’s that?" they seem to say, all stopping to look at the approaching car.

"I don’t know but it’s not a turkey."

"Big, though, isn’t it?"

"Very. Weird color, too."

"Why are its eyes so bright?"

"No idea. Maybe it’s an owl."

"No. Can’t be. I don’t see any wings."

"Silly. Owls are myths."

"No, they’re not. Tom roosted in a tree with one once."

"Tom was drunk on those wineberries."

"What should we do?"

"Let’s ignore it. Maybe it will go away."


Lynne at Hasty Brook said...

LOL!! Your dialog is a hoot!
They really do seem to be owners of the road. Our builder told us last night that the Wild Turkey Gang up at Hasty chase the three men into the garage yesterday!

Carolyn H said...

Lynne: Oh, I wish there was film of turkeys chasing three guys into a garage. That would be hilarious!

Carolyn H

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Here's what you do…buy a Pennsylvania Hunting License and a "turkey tag" or "stamp." (I can't remember which you have over there.)

Put your new license in a plastic holder and carry the holder in the car.

Now, this is important…you don't have to actually HUNT; no firearms need be involved. Simply show the valid license to the turkeys next time around.

As a former turkey hunter I can assure you turkeys are smarter than they act and look. And good networkers. They know how to get the word out.

Show them that license and I guarantee you'll never again get close enough to run over a road-ignorant bird—in fact, you may never see another wild turkey the rest of your life!

At least that's been my experience, and the experience of every turkey hunter I know. Buy a license and the common wild turkey becomes mythological—about as scarce as ivory bills.

Carolyn H said...

Griz: That's funny! I saw them again this morning. I think the total is up to around 8 now. It was raining and they were all standing in the middle of the road, on a curve, dripping. They are pretty funny

Carolyn H.